Wednesday, April 30, 2008


I knew it would eventually. My mental health is questionable at the moment. I am beginning to have doubts about people. People who do actually love me and care for me. Then again maybe they are having doubts too. I don't know why I don't write the truth about what goes on inside my head. Probably because I don't actually understand it myself. Sometimes I'm okay, I was actually really well for a few months there. Suddenly I feel like my world has fallen apart. Though nothing has changed. I wake up irritated by everything. I want to cry all the time. I hate being alone, yet I hate being with people, unless it's him. Yet there are flashes where I feel fine, though at the moment those are few and far between.

Description of Bipolar DisorderSome people who experience clinical depression also have periods of euphoria, elation, sleeplessness, excessive energy, and/or excitement known as mania. Though the diagnosis formally requires only one mania per year, in actuality, patients can fluctuate from depression to mania several times a year. More than four manic episodes in a year is considered “rapid cycling bipolar disorder.”
During a euphoric, manic phase, some people go on spending sprees or stints of sexual activity, act impulsively, or display exhibitionistic behavior. Though the person may feel euphoric, they may also feel irritable or upset. This is called dysphoric mania.
The depression of bipolar disorder is indistinguishable from the unipolar varieties. The pattern of mild or severe mania in addition to depression is what may warrant the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Many people experience a predominance of episodes of one mood over the other, with occasional shifts to the opposite state. Rare individuals experience elevated mood alone.
Rapid-cycling bipolar disorder is characterized by four or more episodes of significant mood changes within a single 12-month period. Less severe manic episodes are known as hypomania, and when these episodes are interspersed with periods of depression it is known as bipolar disorder type II.

Photo (c) ME.